Reflecting on a life in care: Christopher’s story

Trigger warning: this blog contains mention of self-harm.

Like many children in care, Christopher struggled in his early years. He suffered neglect at home and would often run away or go to the local shop to ask for food.

Unfortunately, Christopher's first few years in care didn't provide him with the support and stability he both needed and deserved. In the first 12 months, Christopher was moved between various foster homes in Northern Ireland, before eventually going to a residential home in Scotland. Whilst he finally had somewhere stable, the emotional impact of his childhood began to take a toll on his mental health.

After four years, Christopher’s home in Scotland was closed.

Fortunately, Action for Children was there to help Christopher find a place to call home and he moved into our children’s home in Ayrshire.

Residential Manager, Carrie Baird welcomed Christopher when he arrived. She recalls how scared and anxious he was: “He was pretty broken. He was understandably frightened and just didn’t know how to cope with it all. It was yet another upheaval in his life.”

Thankfully, the staff at the home are trauma-informed and trained to support young people like Christopher who’ve experienced such difficult starts in life.

The team supported Christopher emotionally. They helped him talk freely about his feelings and gave him coping strategies to manage his anxiety. They made him feel at home and looked after, and helped him buy new clothes, underwear, shoes, and toiletries – an opportunity he’d never had before. These small acts helped Christopher develop his self-esteem and sense of independence.

Over time, he learnt to trust the staff and engaged more in the home’s activities, joining in with games of pool and team sports like football. He also found solace in hobbies like plane-spotting and trainspotting, which helped him manage his anxiety.

The staff at the home also helped Christopher through further education – helping him with filling out application forms and applying for a bursary. He went on to complete a Prince’s Trust Employability qualification in Hospitality & Catering; when it came to his graduation, they were there to celebrate his achievements with him:

“Living here at Action for Children has definitely changed me. It has made me grow as a person. I used to feel alone. Now I feel included. I feel safe. I feel happy. It’s just a great place to be. This is like home to me and the Action for Children staff are like family.

“When I look back at that person I was when I first came here, I wasn’t confident in doing anything. I wouldn’t even walk to Tesco. Now, I look back and think “Was I really that person?” My mental health has improved massively since coming here."

Since completing his Hospitality and Catering course, Christopher, now 18, has started his first job working at a local bakery, which he loves. He’s now planning on leaving Action for Children’s care to live independently.

He also has contact with his family, which he was unable to have before, and hopes to move back to Derry to be nearer his mum.

As he transitions to independent living, his advice for young people going into care is to always ask for help and to believe in themselves: “I think a lot of kids are embarrassed to be in care, but I don't see it that way. If you are in care, it’s not your fault.”

In the time that he’s been with us, Christopher has already achieved so much. Soon, he’ll be leaving our children’s home with his sights set on moving back to Northern Ireland. He’s also hoping to go back to college to start an apprenticeship to become a train driver. When asked how he’s feeling, Christopher said: I’ll probably feel quite nervous, although I’m quite open-minded to start new things, learn new things, and obviously progress with my life.”