Parenting after separation: Insights from Parent Talk 2023-24

Parent Talk is our free online advice and information service for parents. It offers expert and trusted advice, support and reassurance through information, advice and guidance (IAG) articles and one-to-one live chats.

In 2023/24, our IAG pages were accessed by 468,786 parents 711,532 times and we provided specialist one-to-one support via 4,783 chats with 2,758 parents.

This year, we’ve seen a significant increase in parents looking for support for issues relating to parenting and relationships and have taken an in-depth look.

The overall number of views for pages relating to parenting and relationships issues has risen by 46% since last year. This rise has been driven by one page – ‘Co-parenting with a controlling ex-partner’ – now the most visited page on Parent Talk, with 46,158 views, a 52% increase on last year.

We analysed a sample of one-to-one chats on this theme to find out what parents are struggling with.

One key issue stood out: parents are struggling following a separation due to ongoing conflict or abuse.

• Parents shared concerns about co-parenting with their ex-partner ranging from worries about their child’s safety and welfare, to diet, to introducing a new partner, to a lack of guidance and boundaries.
• There were a high number of chats from separated parents about childcare arrangements. Many parents reported a breakdown of relationships and communication with the other parent.
• We saw an increase in parents seeking support for issues relating to coercive control – a form of domestic abuse. These parents were struggling to access the right support now they’ve separated from their abuser, and some were still experiencing abuse through childcare arrangements.
• As a result of coercive control or struggling to manage conflict or disagreement following a separation, parents are experiencing high levels of stress and low wellbeing. Parents reported their children were also struggling with their mental health and wellbeing and behaviour. 
• Around one in five (19%) parents looking for parenting and relationships support through 121 chats mentioned that at least one of their children had a special educational need or disability (SEND).
• Many of the parents we supported had already been in touch with a range of support services. But for many different reasons, this support wasn’t adequate in the moment they were seeking help from Parent Talk, or they were experiencing barriers to accessing the right support.
• Parents were looking for advice and reassurance and for help navigating other systems such as local family support and other early help services.
• Separated parents experiencing unresolved conflict or abuse will often need ongoing support throughout their child’s life to help resolve conflict and their families to recover.

Good parenting and parental relationships are strong protective factors for children, providing them with the basis to thrive. It’s important we support parents struggling to manage ongoing conflict or experiencing abuse post-separation to reduce stress and help mediate the impact on their children.

Early help services are well-placed to do this. They can support families and protect children by addressing issues as soon as they arise. 

1. Making sure all parents can access universal family support services, which includes a digital offer. Universal services, such as antenatal classes, are an important entry point to engage with families. They allow professionals to build relationships with local families and identify any issues as early as possible.
2. Investing in targeted support for families experiencing multiple challenges. This should include having co-located multi-disciplinary teams designed to offer wrap-around, co-ordinated and targeted early help – or ‘family help’. These teams should be based in community settings and integrated with wider services.
3. Integrating services so there’s ‘one front door’. All local authorities should have ‘one front door’ to their early help services such that all families know where to go to access help, should they need it. This should build on the Family Hub model with sufficient funding provided to support all local authorities to integrate their services.
4. Ensure communities have the right specialist provision for their local area. That should include specialist domestic abuse services for children and adults and interventions to reduce parental conflict where they are needed.