Coping with mental health struggles as a child living in care: Rachel’s Story

*Please note this blog contains mentions of suicide and depression.

At 9 years old, Rachel and her two siblings were placed in care because of a family breakdown at home.

However, after two years of moving into her first care home, Rachel was split up from her siblings as her foster carers said that she was becoming “too protective” over them. She was moved into a new care home, while her siblings moved into another. She was only allowed to see them for their birthdays and at Christmas.

Now 22, Rachel describes her overall experience of the care system as "traumatic".

“After a while of only having limited contact with my siblings, I was moved into a new placement where all contact between us was cut off. They told me that my sister no longer wanted to see me or loved me. It didn't make sense."

She added: “I ended going up to every single meeting with my social workers. I really fought for my siblings, and I tried everything possible just to find out if they're alright. I even went on a hunger strike. My biggest worry was that they weren’t okay.”

Rachel told us that this back and forth continued for five years until she finally gave up.

Rachel’s counsellor mentioned that if she felt she wasn’t being listened to, she could get an Action for Children advocate:

“I got in contact with Action for Children, and they selected an advocate for me. His name was Chris, and he was really lovely.”

She described how her advocate would take her to the cinema, take her out for dinner and make sure that she felt comfortable and happy with him. Part of the role of the advocate was to have meetings with Rachel to discuss what she really wanted and to make her feel heard.

More importantly, Rachel's advocate made sure that she got to see her siblings face-to-face at least once a month.

Rachel’s advocate advised her to become part of the fostering panel to interview people looking to become an Action for Children foster carer.

The advocate also encouraged her to appear on several radio stations across the country speaking about her experience.

She said: “I remember that after speaking on radio stations, my foster carer told me that now, in certain care homes, carers weren’t allowed to separate siblings from one another.”

Now 22, Rachel continues to be an ambassador for Action for Children and more importantly, she’s helping make a difference to children living in care across the country.

When speaking about what she hopes to see in the future, she said "Children in care have to face a lot of different challenges most children never have to face [...]. The care system has a long way to go until it’s perfect but I believe that we can make a difference in supporting care leavers. Care experienced young people deserve to be listened to."